Excitement

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I burn with excitement

of some kind.

Can not define it.

Can not decide where it comes from.

It just burns deep down inside

And it tickles my very existence

It changes the way I breathe

The way I move my eyes

The way I hold my head

it even changes my complexion.

And I can almost say

This excitement

Makes me anxious

But it pushes me to a new level of seeing things

It makes me act

It makes me think in different directions

It makes me type.

Can it be

That I love this excitement?

Are the words coming back to me?

Are they allowing me to release them

And let them be?

I do not care anymore.

I let myself be.

Li.

Captured

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She had a star floating above her like

some blue heaven surrounding her

like a shield around her

“look but do not touch” thing

I suddenly wanted to stay with her

there amongst the crowds

to feel her presence

everywhere I go

always

I suddenly got the urge to ask her personal questions

Intensity stroke me

I wanted to hug her

I wanted to whisper soft words in the air

I really did want to do all that stuff

and than she smiled

the mouth spread on her face

like some magically beautiful crevice ,

like a mystique deepness out of which countless butterflies came out

lovely in their sadness

and they flew towards the rays

in hope to find the great yellow light.

I was captured

after a long time

and boy it felt so nice

I could have cried.

Li.

The Strain

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I often have it, the strain

it comes so easily and it comes so right

without warning

I pick my self up from a long silence

and suddenly it’s here

my unexpected quest, my fear, my pain

the strain

It finds me when I’m quiet

it strikes me in my peace.

The strain attacks without mercy

it makes my world at craze

I wait and wait for it go

I’m patient long before

I strive and roar

but it only leaves

when I’m all empty in my soul

it abandons me

when in desperation I wish for more.

Li.

Warm Warm Warm

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I do not think that God is some wise old man with white beard and mustache.

I believe God is in us…

God is that one of Me which I’m trying to find

the one which patiently awaits to be found…

this very one

this one of Me is God.

People are always looking for someone to help them

They are looking for someone outside of themselves

someone faraway from them

up above in the sky

hidden behind the clouds..

while actually, God is hiding in each and one of us

and patiently awaits to be found…

God is constantly cheering on us when we are close to finding ourselves, close to find him…God is cheering: warm, warm, warm…warmer…come one, you can do it…

and suddenly we are taken by some long forgotten smell of a meadow flower from our childhood…that is God giving us signals, sending us messengers to tell us: it is all right, just keep on going that way, you are close, very close…I love you, says God, I love you so much…If you only knew how and how much…you would never be able to feel alone or abandoned… I love you, says God, all is well, get up and keep on going….

Thank you, yes, you. Thank you for being here now and forever and ever…because I’m part of forever, part of you.

Li.

You know…

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…all I wanted to say

Came out like a fish talk

The sea of space between us

Swallowed it.

Brutally!

The silence was too intense

It burn in flames

And we stood motionless

Our eyes gazing

At something

Big and strange

Too distant to touch

Too close to brush away

Warm, wet and slippery

Our baby

Our soul

Our fear

Our precious

Our love

Our pain

And we hold on to it!

We Don’t let go

If we loose it

We will loose the drive to change!

Li.

This love

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How many times have I reasoned

this game of life

Where we breathe uncertainty

How many times I thought I’m falling

So Endlessly

That it hurts

How do I gather up all I want

In a little speck of time?

And what is time actually?

Can I pack love in time?

This love I feel…

Is it timeless?

This love…

This feeling of impatient warmth inside my chest…

Is this love I’m trying to give birth to?

I feel it grows inside me like a baby

I can not keep it in anymore

It is too heavy

I can hardly move

I need to let it go

And let everyone see it

This monster of a feeling

This eternal flow of flames

Stuck inside my body

I’m letting it go

This love…

Li.